The Writer
Bunny Byrne

It's all I can do to make it to the next party...

Working, Thinking: Strong Women

Posted By on May 18, 2013 in Blog, Chatter | 3 comments

Working, Thinking: Strong Women

Strong

I am so thankful, humbled, blessed, amazed and amused to be surrounded by so many strong women. They encourage and edit, comfort and critique, and my favorites are the ones who both speak and hear truth. I adore all of you, just as you are and I am so glad that neither society nor culture defines our relationships; we do not have silly, dramatic interactions, but strong and true friendships.

I’ve had some really wonderful interactions lately, but I’m reminded that they don’t happen every day and that’s why they mean so much. I recently had a woman I barely know take me under her wing and into the world of newspapers. Two women I’ve known for a while continually prod me about my writing, not quite admonishing, but reminding me that this work is important. A woman I consider mind-kin and who is always quick with an honest critique encouraged me on a project – that honest bit of praise goes so much farther because I know she wouldn’t lie to give it. One woman I haven’t known that long, but who became a fast friend because of her habit of frankness, said this week, “a true friend can tell you the truth. She can tell you when you’re being a bitch, and help you realize that you really are.” I have friends in different places, stages, ages, socio-economic brackets, but nearly all of them have this truth trait.

Life, love, friendships are not about only hearing the good stuff, the things you want to hear. They’re also about trusting those who love you… to let them speak truth to you, to give as well as take. Most people run from this uncomfortable confrontation. But those who don’t, the brave ones who can withstand the pruning, bloom more brilliantly and grow deeper roots and are shaken less and less when useless twigs are snapped away by a pruner whose hands you trust. Some also learn to self-prune.

In my weekly writing group, we strive to build up ¬†and strip away, to encourage and edit, all with the goal of making better. And when we truly love a friend, and are truly loved by them, we can scratch the surface and endure change and, overall, make better. Let’s all be better and be open to those who love us enough to see the bumps and help us smooth them. Here, right now, is my heartfelt thank you to each woman who has told me I could do better, that I should try a different approach, that I’m looking at something all wrong, that I’m selling myself short, that I screwed something up. Thank you for considering me worth the time it took you to say negative {but really positive!} and potentially hurtful {but really helpful!} things to me. Some I needed to hear, some I didn’t agree with, some I came to understand slowly. But in each case, I am left with the knowledge that you love me enough to go deeper than the top layer of bland, name-only friendship. And that you want to see me do well and be happy.

Thank you.

For a trashy ending to a decent piece, here we go, a tidbit from an email forward: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. {Sometimes we need fertilizer}

Hugs + Kisses, Farts + Hisses,

XOXO
Bun

3 Comments

  1. Lecrecia Wilson May 19, 2013

    You must have been at our ladies retreat at church yesterday. The speaker said the exact same thing: that we need to have a group of friends who we can ask any question of and they will be truthful and honest with us.

    • bunnybyrne May 19, 2013

      How neat! I hadn’t heard about the retreat, I was working on my manuscript most of the day. Must be in the air!

  2. Karen Mawell May 20, 2013

    Sing it Sister! Best thing in the world-someone who will tell you the truth-not what you want to hear.
    Especially the fertilizer part; at my age I need all I can get.

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